is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I party with great urgency now.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
