Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
