clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
