Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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