I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
