"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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