Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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