hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
time to smoke my breakfast
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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