u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
