glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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