Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
