This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just cropdusted the office
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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