At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
