i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
