Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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