i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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