at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
