With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
