I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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