Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
