Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Randomize
