Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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