Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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