So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
