I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
