It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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