Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
