Nicole vs. Life
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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