I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
They left me at home... I'm a liability
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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