I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
