Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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