The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
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