Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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