Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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