I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
