yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
