Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
