well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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