i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize