i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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