1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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