Define "chronic" masturbator.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
