Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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