They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Someone shattered a urinal.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
