Cold hands, warm shart.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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