I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
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