I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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