Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
