I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
