I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
