Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
