i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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