There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Holy shit dude........stairs
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
