ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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