i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
