had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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