I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
