From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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