It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize