Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
