The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
