Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
